Kim Kardashian Crashes Over Kanye West in ‘The Kardashians’

In the first episode of season three, which was released today, Kardashian realizes how she suffered emotionally because of the rapper, especially after their divorce, during a tearful conversation with mom Kris Jenner. . She also discusses her frustrations with West’s often erratic online behavior and how her efforts to protect their children have clashed with her desire to speak her truth about her ex.

“I spent my whole morning having a panic attack,” Kardashian tearfully tells Jenner. “I felt like I couldn’t breathe all day. You know when you’re on the verge of tears, it’s like your throat is about to cry? That’s how I felt all day.

Kardashian adds that she finds it unfair how West reveals so much of their private family affairs to the public while venting her own grievances, despite always speaking positively about him in public.

“Sometimes Kanye says to me, ‘Can I get approval for what you say about me on your show?'” she reveals. “And I’ll be like, ‘Well, you just talked about me in this song, this song, this interview, this interview, and you didn’t ask my permission. “”

“Even through all the crazy things Kanye says about us, like, I never comment, I never post,” she adds. “I have to sit here and never say anything because I know one day my kids will appreciate this and I know it’s the best thing for them.”

The SKIMS founder adds that she’s been especially careful about how she talks about West to their four children — North, Saint, Chicago and Psalm — having consistently gone out of her way to paint him in a positive light.

“And by the way, I’m the one where shit can happen and I get in the car and everyday the kids wanna blast daddy’s music,” she told Jenner. “I’m like, ‘This is the best! Yeah!’ And I put it on and we sing and inside I’m like dying cause I’ll be her biggest cheerleader for them forever and one day they’ll see for themselves and I’ll answer whatever they will want me.

Kardashian also tells her mom about the fake “protector” persona West portrays. “Whoever does interviews saying he’s my ‘forever protector’ hurts me the most,” she says.

“I never say anything bad,” Kardashian continues. “I never say anything negative. If I say, ‘I’m exhausted’, I feel guilty. I’m fucking exhausted.

“For once, can everyone pull themselves together?” she asks insistently, while holding back her tears. “So I can lose him, just once?” I want to lose it once. I want to have a bad day and I can’t.